Young Writers Society

that's really well put; although it's hard, try not to take it personaly.

I don't know whether I like reading the poems or the comments more. I learn from both.

I find that poetry criticism/comments come in two types:
1--those that cover mechanics, style, structure, etc.
2--those that cover content

I think this poem was posted more for comments on content. It's hard to put effort into a poem and then have people appear to tear it apart. You have to remember that people are not criticizing YOU, nor trying to tear your poems apart. They are trying to help you improve you writing. So that you will be able to make your point better, get your message across clearer, be more effective in getting a desired response from your reader. It's like having to go through growing pains as you grow, not always easy but usually necessary. We are only trying to help, REALLY.

Ooh Harley like. It's is a wee bitty choppy, but it's cool. I agree with nite on her quote, but there's not really that much wrong with it. :thumb:

i really liked the idea but think u have to watch ur caitalization
kee it u.

Good Job! Rachel! I think it was a bit choppy for me too but other than that it was a pretty good poem. Keep Writing!!!!

~Lollipop~

I think you need to spell criticism/criticized right. That alone would probably make it better. I agree that the idea's good, but there's one part in particular I don't like.

[quote]i get bullied
and critisized
and it's not all
from the guys[quote]

It seems to me that you just threw this stanza in because it rhymes. It doesn't fit too well with the rest of the poem. You should probably change it rather than just delete it, as it seems really weird without something there.

And another little thing: It's cool if you decide not to capitalize, but make up your mind. Either make it all caps or all lowercase, not half and half like you have now.

I like it more than some of your other poems, but it could use a little work. Keep writing!

Wow... sort of hard to make comments on this one after that last line... lol

I liked the idea of this one. But it seemed a little choppy and I think you need to put a little more emotion into it. Try to make the reader feel what you're saying instead of just understand it.